tales of o-chem.

It's about time I got my butt in gear for O-Chem. I meant to spend ten hours a week studying for the class. I've been so busy that I've probably done about...a tenth of that so far. And somehow, January is almost over. So sad.

But in an effort to remedy that, and due to a rude awakening with the obnoxiously-easy-but-still-ever-so-hard quiz we had to take this morning, I spent about five hours in the O-Chem Lab today.

Thanks be to all my lucky stars for the patient TAs in that room. I hate sounding like an idiot, but it's impossible to intelligently fake talk your way through Molecular Orbital Theory. So I sound like an idiot, and the TAs are surprisingly okay with that. It's not really a symbiotic (like my science terminology?) relationship, but the odds are in my favor.

"Wait...so what IS this up here in the anti-bonding orbitals? Aren't they nothing? No electrons or protons? So why do they have nodes and how are they supposed to be high-energy orbitals? I don't get how something exists out of what is apparently nothing."

Very patient TA: "Well, you see...um...you're kind of on the right track. There really isn't anything there. It's all theoretical. It's what-if."

 "Oh. Dang it. This just got a lot more complicated than I thought."

phone calls

A couple weeks ago I spent about ten hours calling Utah-based foundations as part of my volunteer work for Zambia's Scholarship Fund.

I decided I was not a good telemarketer and that I shouldn't ever do that again.

I recently got a new job as a research assistant for one of the grad students in the food science department. I was super pumped because she's really cool and should be easy to work with.

The other day she handed me a folder full of names and phone numbers. Guess what I'll be doing all weekend?

Someone up there has a real sense of humor.

Zambia 2012

Hey folks,

I'm keeping another blog to document how this Zambia thing goes down. Obviously, I won't have my computer in Zambia.

But for right now, I'll just be writing about all the pre-liftoff work. Once I'm actually in Zambia, I'll be keeping a field notebook, and I'll transfer it to the blog later. This is partly because I want to get internship credit. But it's mostly so I don't forget. I don't want to forget anything.

http://zambia2012.wordpress.com/

resolved.

New Year's resolutions. I'm usually all over them. Even with my awful track record. If nothing else, they're cool indicators of the kind of person I'd like to be someday. So here goes, even if they are a tad really late.

1) Run ten miles a week. I decided training for a marathon this semester was so unrealistic that I would just give up running all together. But ten miles a week...that's attainable...right?
2) Work my butt off for Choose to Give and Zambia's Scholarship Fund. It'll be worth it in the end, even if it kills me. Seriously, I've done Choose to Give for three years now and every year, I think I am NEVER doing this again...and every year I do it again. It's addicting.
3) Eat healthy. Hahaha. The sad thing is, I'm not even joking. I really do want to eat healthy. But you know what I had to eat today? A cookie for breakfast, a pop tart and two slices of bread for lunch, and Panda Express for dinner. How pathetic. (Dear mom, I promise this is not typical. Today's meals were especially awful for some reason.). Anyways, I just need to get back on track.
4) Start reading the New Testament in Spanish. Scripture study everyday.
5) Finish The Screwtape Letters...and at least START Les Miserables. In English.
6) GO TO ZAMBIA. Learn and serve my heart out. And kind of going along with this, to minimize complaining and really appreciate what I have.
7) Read poetry over breakfast. I'm not even kidding. Please don't think I'm lame.
8) Live the life in Minneapolis and learn as much as possible from my R&D internship this summer.
9) Manage my time more wisely...as in...stop wasting so much time on facebook.
10) Remember to make my car payments on time. I'm a big girl now (riiight).

Honestly though, I've realized more than ever that when I'm doing the right things, pieces of my life just fall into place, right in the moment that I need them to. I literally feel like I'm getting my prayers answered all the time-- that my Heavenly Father is watching out for me. I'm kind of a control freak when it comes to my life, but this year, I'm going to try to let go of the reins a little bit and see where God takes me. Live life to the very fullest, shoot for my biggest dreams, and follow the Spirit while I'm at it. I have a feeling that I'll end up where I'm supposed to be. Que viva la vida!

throwing a glance over my shoulder

allll the way back to the year of 2011. This post is late. I know. By almost a week.

But I still wanted to give 2011 a shoutout. It's been a challenging one, but still one of the best years of my life. Easily. This year was a year of firsts. I went to Europe for the first time (which in and of itself, presents a plethora of firsts). I also ran my first relay race. Got the first B of my life put on my transcript. Hiked Mount Timp. Went to San Francisco. TA-ed a class. Became a research assistant. Bought a car. I've learned a lot and grown a lot and lived a lot. Last year I made a couple resolutions, and I just now revisited them. Mostly, I realized again how much I suck at keeping New Year's resolutions. Oops.

I didn't volunteer at the MTC every month. I didn't run a marathon. I never tried going to salsa club (haha). I didn't read Les Mes. I didn't get straight A's. I didn't stick with the 19.5 credits, and ended up dropping a class.  However, no worries, I did accomplish at least a few of my goals from last year. I finished a successful year of Choose to Give, and I drink a lot more water than I used to. I talked to my family regularly and I got decent grades. I also finished the Book of Mormon in Spanish as well as Mere Christianity. I stuck to the grocery list--especially when Haley and I had this healthy-eating dinner/lunch gig going on. I blogged pretty frequently this past year. I've smiled more times than I can count this year--and I experienced Europe in an unbelievably wonderful four month span of time, during which I was constantly inspired by art, music, literature, cuisine, language, and culture.

Last year, I wrote this:

"I think I'm going to focus on two general philosophies this year. First, to live life like crazy. I had a bishop talk once to all of us young people about living life like crazy, about appreciating every moment, about making every second count. That really hit home. Life's too short to spend it just existing. Second, to go the extra mile. To go the extra mile when I'm running, studying, working--to go the extra mile in life."

And honestly, I think that's what made 2011 such an AMAZING year. I really did try to appreciate every moment, to live the life that I knew I wanted to live. I've made some wonderful wonderful friends this year that definitely helped me to keep my sanity. I've also had fantastic roommates--even though Haley is leaving me to go to Spain this winter semester! I miss her already, but I'm sure she'll have a wonderful time. Seriously, looking back, I've been so incredibly blessed with the opportunities that have come my way. It has been a life-changing twelve months.

It's a swell time to be alive!!

Now I'm looking forward to 2012. I can feel it in my bones--it's going to be a good year. I've already got some pretty great goals lined up. But that's for the next post.

o holy night.

I was little, and it was Christmas. After dinner, my grandpa called all his grandkids around him. I sat on his knee. He put his arm around me, and told my cousin to fetch a book out of the china cabinet. We knew which one--we had read it before. The entire dining table hushed.

It was the Christmas story. A story that amazed me then and still amazes me now. 

This is the greatest story ever told--a story that has been told for centuries upon centuries and that will continue to be told into the eternities.

It's a story of a babe who was born and laid into a manger. A story of a babe who grew up to become the Savior of the world. A story that changed the fate of the world forever. A story that gives meaning to my existence. It's a miracle- the biggest miracle of all. It's this story. You've heard it before.

Luke 2:4-14

4) And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

5) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

6) And so it was, that while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

7) And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

8) And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

9) And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

10) And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

11) For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

12) And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13) And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14) Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

I still remember feeling like I was part of something bigger. I remember blowing the candle out on Jesus' birthday cake. I remember being completely happy. I still am. I've been blessed. 


O Holy Night is probably my favorite Christmas song. This arrangement is quite different from the traditional one, but I love it. It's still so hopeful, so joyful, so wonder-filled. 

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
-Isaiah 9:6

dearest you.

Dearest you,
I thought I saw you once.


I could have stopped you, maybe, but
You seemed hurried, and I move slow.
Real slow, and I needed to breathe.
I've been a little thinner lately.
Did you know?


Because you've brought me low, you did.
And I've brought you low, I did.


I scribbled scrambled thoughts across my bedroom wall
Once upon a time back then.
My dear, if you really saw this
If you could have only seen this-
Heart of a dreamer and soul slightly flawed.
But it's a long ways to fall
In the dark in the sand.
And I'd have to tell you that 
I understand.


And you've brought me low, you did. 
But I've brought you low, I did.


To those times when I've done it right
But did it wrong
Healed scars and intrinsically sad smiles
Old letters and postage stamps
A way when back and a time ago long
Ended up in some song because


To me, you never seemed
Quite so lonely
As you did then
To me, I never seemed 
Quite so lonely
As I did then.