halloween

Tonight, I went to a Halloween party. 

I wore the same thing I wore to the first Cambridge Bop--namely, a white blouse, sweet leather vest, a green headscarf, wood earrings--and called myself a hippie.

I left a half hour later.

Because the entire time, I was thinking, "This is lame sauce compared to the Bop."

And because nobody was dancing.

And because I had been far more in the spirit of Halloween when I had been decorating ghost/pumpkin shaped sugar cookies with my roommate, carving pumpkins with Cambridge folk, and getting lost in a corn maze (where I was scared multiple times for free).

So yes, I left. And I went grocery shopping instead.

I think that means I've become stingy with my time. Or maybe I didn't want to have to call tonight a total sunk cost (I've been hanging out with one too many economists lately?), or maybe I need to stop comparing Provo dance parties to European dance parties, or maybe...

I think I'm starting to become a boring adult. WHAT.

In other news, I cut my roommate's hair today so that she could be Spock (Star Trek). She doesn't just look like Spock, folks--she is the feminine version of Spock. It's that good.

Happy Halloween, e'erbody.

cruise control.

Sometimes I want to take on the world. As in, ace all my classes, work a ridiculous amount of hours a week, get a research position, do the Honor's program, read the New York Times over breakfast, figure out my thesis, run a marathon, read poetry in my free time, eat healthy, apply for 3495 internships, fulfill church callings, be an amazing friend, go to activities, participate in clubs, and the list could go on forever.

And sometimes I get a little tired of that. Sometimes, all I want to do is sit on the couch, watch movies, and eat pringles. And because I can't, I procrastinate and sit around and get on facebook and wander pointlessly throughout the week. Mostly because I can. And because I forget how good it feels to be the best I can be.

Sometimes you need something to shock you out of couch potato mode. I got that shock today.

That's it, I'm off cruise control mode now.

Sometimes it takes failing a test to get you ready to pass the course with flying colors. And I'm not talking just about classes here.

general conference weekend.

General Conference weekend is over.
And with that...

An Einsteins bagel bucket is demolished.
Two pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream....gone.

Haley and I have been having a really healthy weekend here, obviously.

But more importantly, this year's conference was incredible. Temples in Wyoming, the Congo, South Africa, Paris, Columbia,  and wait, a SECOND temple in Provo?!? Out of the Provo Tabernacle, no less. Blew my mind. There was an audible gasp from the conference center...we could hear it on the tv from our apartment.

I loved Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk on Saturday afternoon--his talks are always inspiring and comforting. Robert D. Hale's talk this morning on trials and the importance of "waiting upon the Lord" was also a fave. As well as Dallin H. Oaks' talk on Christ. The one that made me go "ouch" the most was Ian S. Arden's talk on using time wisely and managing distractions. Yeah...need to work on that one.

I made dinner tonight. It's been something I've been wanting to make for a while. Stuffed tomatoes with garlic, pancetta, and garlic. And whole wheat pasta. Yum.

before cooking.

after.

It was delicious.

Tomorrow Haley and I are starting a diet of sorts. An eat-healthier (you mean eating outside of the bagel and ice cream food groups? yes.) and regular exercise sort of diet. Don't laugh now.

I'm determined to lose all that Europe weight. 

Red Rock Relay 2011: TEAM LEG-IT

While I was in England, I attempted to run a couple times. It didn't really work out. I probably have more fingers than number of times I ran. Needless to say, it didn't even come close to preparing me for what came two weeks after I got back from Cambridge.

I ran the Red Rock Relay September 9-10th with a team of eleven people. The Red Rock Relay is a ragnar-type race, that goes starts up in Brian Head, goes through Cedar City, St. George, and through Zions National Park. It's 187 miles long. Each team member runs three separate legs, ranging from 3-8 miles and varying in difficulty.

Team Leg-It.

Back row: Carter Zufelt, Andrew Martinson, Jeremy Robbins, Keven Mcfadyen,
Jenna Bothwell, Kyle Smith, Tyler Dalton
Front Row: Me, Trent Mcfadyen, Spencer Johnson, Katherine Pendleton.

Awesome people, every single one of them.

It was hard. Summer in England + running in Utah elevation meant my lungs were crying. Actually, lack of training meant all of me was crying. We were all so tired. Exhausted. Starving for real food (I lived off cliff bars, energy bars, and Gatorade that entire weekend. And grapes. I brought grapes. And cheeze-its). Uncomfortable. Stomach problems for everybody up the wazoo. It hurt to walk. We were sleepy and couldn't sleep. We ran through and over forests, canyons, mountains, and desserts. We ran in rain, snow, hail, and blazing sun. To top it off, the last day one of our vans broke down, and me and half the team were stranded in the middle of some little town in southern Utah. We didn't even get to all run through the finish line.

Yet, it was one of the most epic experiences of my life. It was SO beautiful. My team was so awesome. The runs were exhilarating (except for maybe that last one...which was miserable). Something about running is so meaningful to me. Sometimes you hate it--because your legs are screaming at you and your lungs somehow can't seem to find any oxygen in the air and why did that 55-year-old man just pass me like nobody's business and you can feel the sweat running down your forehead and it's not even mile two yet and where the HECK is some water?!?

I figured out halfway through the relay that drinking water while I was running made me feel sick to my stomach. But I digress.

But then you get the flip side of the coin. Sometimes you push through all that mind-crap and all of a sudden you open your eyes. And you can literally feel your heart pushing your blood through your veins and you can make your legs go faster. And you're breathing in the cold night air and you can just begin to see the beginnings of the sun creeping up behind the mountains. And there's nobody in sight. Just you, and the mountains, and the sound of your feet hitting the pavement again and again and again. And suddenly everything is back in perspective and it all just makes sense and you've never felt quite so empowered before in your entire life.

Those moments are what I love about running. And experiencing that with a team was amazing. You've got support. You're all in pain, but that's the beauty of it--because you push through it for the sake of the team, even if you wouldn't do it for yourself.

I mean, LOOK at this!!
How can you not be inspired?

PRE-RACE
1) Jenna and I. Such good friends.
2) Snap bracelet we passed at each transfer. And my trusty running shoes.
3) Spencer and I under the start line.

Our team was short a person, so some of us took extra legs. All of my legs were pretty short, so I took a fourth. My first leg was 3 miles, second leg was 4.7 miles, third leg was 4.5 miles, and fourth leg was 3.1 miles.

My first leg was the first leg of the entire race and I got to take a ski lift up to the top of this mountain. I thought it was going to be a piece of cake...and then I saw that the path was about a foot-wide, steep, and rocky. I still tried taking it too fast and I biffed it trying to turn down one of the switchbacks. The elevation also got to me and I was panting so hard, considering I was running downhill. Not my best run.

First Leg
1) Taking the ski lift up the mountain.
2) Running down the mountain.
3) Right after having passed the bracelet to Andrew.

Second leg ended up being all right. However, I had taken two extra-strength excedrin about two hours before my leg because I was having a really bad headache...it was a terrible decision. Not only did that mean that I spent the two hours I was supposed to spend sleeping wide-awake in my sleeping bag with nothing to do but listen to my heart beat extraordinarily fast, I was also really jittery when I had to go run and my heart rate was still going crazy. It just felt weird. I've sworn off excedrin. However, after the first mile and a half, the medicine either wore off or I'd gotten it out of my system, and it ended up being a good run. I don't have any pictures specific to any of my runs after my first one...so the rest of the pictures will just be conglomeration of the entire experience.

More scenery.
And Andrew and I--earning our Red Rock stripes.
You get one after each leg. 

Third leg was my favorite leg hands down. I was booking it down the mountain--made really good time; it was maybe the best time I've ever made on a run. It was around 3:30 in the morning, I believe, and I just felt so alive. It was a fantastic run.

1) Snow van (my van)
2) Kevin in the exchange passing the snap bracelet on to Tyler
3) Trent (what you feel like during your run)
4) Trent (what you feel like after your run)

1) If you're thirsty...you gotta drink while you run. We refused to stop.
2) Carter booking it.
3) How you doing? You need water?
4) Spencer getting a pep talk during one of his legs.

Fourth leg came only 35 minutes after my third leg and it was awful. Kevin (the team leader) offered to switch me out, but I turned him down. Even though I was still tired from the last run, I just wanted so badly to be done with all my legs so I could just sleep. Dumb decision. It ended up being uphill for the entire three miles. Not only was my time not so hot, I wanted to die the entire time. I staggered up to the exchange, slapped the bracelet on Andrew's wrist, walked around for a bit, ate half a bunch of grapes, leaned my head against the car window, and was out for about three hours. I don't remember anything. But I was done. I had done it. I woke up and I still couldn't believe it.

Twenty-nine hours and six minutes after I had crossed the start line, our last runner crossed the finish line--and our entire team was done. We celebrated by eating at Wendys...and chilling out in a parking lot while the boys tried to fix the radiator of the broken-down van.

1) Trent's back. ha.
2) Jenna and I post-race. Pre-shower. Gross.
3) Carter wid da RRR medal.

1) Post-race. DONE.
2) All three RRR stripes.
3) Repping those hard-earned stripes at church the next day.

If I thought I was sore after hiking Mount Timp....I was wrong. I learned what sore meant after the Red Rock Relay. I got home late Saturday night, thanks to the entire broken-down van adventure. I actually debated sleeping on the couch because 1) I didn't want to climb the stairs up to my bedroom and 2) I didn't want to have to get on the top bunk. I eventually decided to sleep in my bed after all. I could barely walk down the stairs the next morning. I hurt so badly for the next couple of days. But with a smile on my face. You betcha.

Red Rock Relay 2012, here I come. 

Come further up, come further in.

I've been uplifted, inspired, and enriched today.

I'm grateful for Christ and for the Atonement. For the gospel. For inspired leaders. For purpose and meaning. For family. For all these things and so many more.

“If there are any principles which have given me strength, and by which I have learned to live more truly a life of usefulness, it seems to me I could wish to impart this joy and strength to others; to tell them what the Gospel has been and is to me, ever since I embraced it and learned to live by its laws. A fresh revelation of the Spirit day by day, an unveiling of mysteries which before were dark, deep, unexplained and incomprehensible; a most implicit faith in a divine power, in infinite truth emanating from God the Father.”

-Sister Elizabeth Anne Whitney

I'm especially grateful for all the worthy priesthood holders in my life. They blow me away with their diligence in not only keeping themselves worthy, but also  in their willingness to serve. Teachers. Leaders. Home teachers. Friends. 

"The blessings of the priesthood are available to every righteous man and woman. We may all receive the Holy Ghost, obtain personal revelation, and be endowed in the temple, from which we emerge ‘armed’ with power. The power of the priesthood heals, protects, and inoculates all of the righteous against the powers of darkness."

-Sister Sherry Dew

President Uchtdorf just gave a talk in the Relief Society Broadcast in which he gave the sisters five things to "forget not." All five were so ridiculously simple; incidentally, they were also things that I needed to hear. 

1) Forget not to be patient with yourself.

2) Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.

3) Forget not to be happy now.

4) Forget not the "why" of the gospel.

5) Forget not that the Lord loves you.

I've always loved C.S. Lewis. In The Last Battle, as the Pevensie children and many of the other beloved characters of the series explore the new Narnia, the unicorn exclaims,

"I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this. Bree-hee-hee! Come further up, come further in!"

I feel like lately I have been getting all these little glimpses of "the land I have been looking for all my life," of "my real country."

There's only so far you can go or understand in this life. At the same time, life is a learning process--and I don't think God puts up walls. Rather, for those who earnestly seeks, He knocks them down. As Christ said in Luke 11:9, "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."

If that's not an invitation to "Come further up, come further in!", I don't know what is.

Hike of Hikes

The weekend after I got back from Cambridge, some of my friends decided to hike Mount Timpanogos.

I've been meaning to do this for the longest time.
Probably since this one time Freshman year when...

Mackenzie: Can you believe the snow on Mount Timpanogos already?
Me: Where's Mount Timpanogos?
Mackenzie: It's over there. [points]. It's huge. Some people hike it and get to the summit by sunrise. Seriously though, it takes all night.
Me: ...so legit.

Anyways, since that inconsequential conversation, I've been meaning to hike it. The mountain. The Timpanogos.

We started our hike around 1:30 in the morning with a big group of about 18 people. It would be a seven mile hike--with sunrise being around 6:30. Not going to lie, I was thinking, "Seven miles in five hours? Easy-peasy."

Before the hike.
Me, Jenna, Jessica, and...someone whose name I
can't remember.

The hike ended up being the hardest hike I've ever done. I think that out of the original eighteen, only five made it to the top. But man, was it worth it.

I didn't have a headlamp for the first part of the hike which made it a little tricky--a friend lent me his headlamp for the second, which made things a lot easier. The trail was also pretty rocky--and quite steep in parts. It got cold. And I got tired. But it was so beautiful. So many waterfalls and cliffs and the path just goes on and on. Maybe my favorite part was seeing all the other people making the same journey. You could see bobbing lights all the way up the mountain. I don't know--something about that...I loved it.

We hit the halfway point (there was a little shack). There was a group of people that decided to just stay there. I was tempted for about ten seconds--and then I decided I was going to make it to the top if it killed me. 

Rob, Matt, and I left for the summit. We got to cross these lovely icy slopes. 

tricky tricky.

And climb up rocks...

matt.
and me in the bottom right.

And I was SO TIRED. With every step I took, I was giving myself a pep talk. I devoured every granola bar I brought with me--and downed every ounce of liquid I had brought. My legs just got shakier and shakier.Oh, and I had to pee for the entire last half of the hike up to the summit, but thanks to me being a girl...let's leave it at, well,  that's con #574 of being a girl.

But we got to see this at the almost-the-summit-but-not-quite: 

Sunrays just beginning to peak over the horizon.

We booked it to the summit because some kids kept saying that we weren't going to make it in time. Puh-lease. There was no way. We made it in time, even if I was pretty much dying on that last stretch.

victoire épique

We did it!!!
Repping Cambridge on the top of Mount Timp.

We signed the Bible that was in the little shack on the summit to document our achievement. We chilled out for a while on the top. And then we headed down down down. The hike back was almost like a second hike because you could actually see everything that was around you. And it was breath-taking.

And after the hike?

I peed, showered, and slept. In that order.

I also walked like a duck for the next day and a half.

Meaning, I waddled.

Really attractive.

snapshots of pembroke college (and other things)

Like the last post, this one also has a plethora of pictures.

Putting together these two posts made me want to revisit Cambridge more than ever.

I miss it.

Last English scone with butter and jam.

These Cambridge streets got class and charm.

Cambridge Union Society Building.
Where we had a lot of our classes, ate really awful sandwiches and
really good doughnuts, and had our plenary lecture/debates.

1) one of the many courtyards.
2) student housing inside the college
3) Pembroke College Chapel right in the middle.
4) outside of the Pembroke library.

the real dining hall was under reconstruction.
we ate here.
cool tent, ay?

Pembroke Cafe.
Where I usually ate lunch everyday because
they had the best paninis and wraps.

More of Pembroke College.
It has BEAUTIFUL gardens.